But vehicle horns aren't the only thing contributing to the excessive noise level for us Westerners, and I will get to those topics later, but first want to discuss the main cause which is the drivers in the vehicles.

As I mentioned in a article,previous piece, India’s hi-tech darling, Bangalore, an overwhelming percentage of motor vehicle drivers use their horn frequently when they drive. On our street, this is especially apparent after a hard day at work. So, in the spirit of accuracy, I sat in one of our rooms and every hour on the hour from 7pm, 8pm, and 9pm, I tallied horn honks over a 10 minute period. A "horn honk" could be one beep, two quick beeps, or a long blast. Each counted as one horn-honk. My tallies are as follows:

• 7:00-7:10pm: 117 horn honks
  
• 8:00-8:10pm: 121 horn honks
  
• 9:00-9:10pm: 109 horn honks
  

On Saturdays and Sundays the sonic disturbance get worse for us as we don't go to the office and the noise banner starts early first with the yappy little dog next door. The house owner's servant chains the little pooch up on the roof and then sweeps the roof as the dogs commences 20 minutes of non-stop barking. . Lately, I have taken to the balcony and yelling at both the dog and its handler to shut the damn thing up. This is successful only occasionally as the handler is puzzled by our irritation. So, on Saturdays, assuming we spend the morning in the house from 7-11am, leave for a few hours and then return say at 4pm and stay awake until midnight, we will hear around 7,200 horn honks.

Other Noises

The Eshwara Hindu Temple
We never know what to expect from the Hindu temple next door and really enjoy (seriously, we do) the temple bells each morning and chanting from their evening services. But some days, (we don't know when to expect it), they'll add a microphone, speakers, some horns, for the bigger crowd and it gets pretty loud.

When they set up a tent on the street, we know it's going to be loud as the crowd triples, crowding the street and parking, driving up the horn honking and general crowd noise.

Dogs
With the exception of seeing eye dogs, rescue dogs, and dogs that sleep with people and serve as a first alert system should the person's breathing become irregular, I loathe dogs. I don't pet them, don't allow them on my property, find their barking annoying, and generally avoid them at all costs. I really don't know how I could detest these arguably worthless creatures much more, but since moving to India, I have discovered new found hatred for what many consider 'man's best friend." The reason? Packs of street dogs that howl all night and are protected by the Supreme Court thanks to a lawsuit by animal activists on behalf of these useless animals, many of which are rabid.

Listen to the infuriating howls, yelps and barks and decide whether you could sleep through the canine clatter. mansworstfriend2am01.mp3 | mansworstfriend2am02.mp3

The Universal Indian Tool
I didn't know that you could use just a hammer to fix a toilet, drill a hole in granite, cut rebar, install and remove scews, and other tasks that usually require a specific tool. The hammer is the tool of choice in Bangalore and probably all of India. All workers carry it - plumbers, electricians, stone masons, mechanics, and they bang away day and night on many of the fancy, new buildings a short hammer throw from our balcony. For example, we just had three plumbers in our house to replace a leaky toilet. It took 3 hours of banging and several trips to the store, but miraculously, and thanks to the universal Indian tool, the job is done. Whether it leaks or not is another story.

I loathe dogs. I don't pet them, don't allow them on my property, find their barking annoying, and generally avoid them at all costs. I really don't know how I could detest these arguably worthless creatures much more, but since moving to India, I have discovered new found hatred for what many consider "man's best friend."

Clothes Washing
Okay, you're thinking, c'mon, Ted, how can someone washing clothes make bothersome noise? Well, I thought the same thing one Saturday morning as I lay in bed sick. So, after determining that the construction sites were not the source, I looked closer to my domain and only then realized the new source of the latest sonic irritant, clothes washers slapping trousers, shirts, saris, and dhotis against large granite blocks. The result is a noise that sounds remarkably similar to someone using the Universal Indian Tool on a piece of wood. To add the problem, most of the buildings have eaves that act as an acoustical booster, an observation our friend Philip noticed about his architect designed condo and a feature I've noticed in our apartment. Looking at the dynamics presented by an overhanging eave and three women whacking laundry , I resigned myself to the fact that this was going to be a yet another unquiet morning. Now that I am aware of the cause of this particular noise, the psychological trauma is less by the effect is still the same.

Crows
The pigeons and crows like to sit on one of our window sills and craw away. This is something my friend Dave Yakymi told me that really annoyed him and caused him to lose sleep during his visit to India. My only solution has been to try and chase them away by gently flinging a long cable towards them that I keep handy on the balcony for such a purpose.

Many Indians we know don't mind the noise and don't understand why it is bothering us....they really don't. And we I get asked how I like India, I tell them I do like it very much - except for the noise - and they all laugh and I imagine them thinking Get used to it, Holmes, it is part of our culture. I guess it the ultimate cosmic joke on Westerners.

So, while it bothers us, me more than Maria, we plan on just dealing with it as best as we can....My only satisfaction will be occasionally blasting one of my annoyance tapes from our balcony. It contains of mix of sounds containing high frequency squeals, howler monkeys, air hammers, Chinese opera, gunshots, loud cars, and other assorted nuisances all recorded in hi fidelity and pumped through my non-distorting JBL speakers.

Next: India is going Deaf: Rural infections and urban noise pollution are causing Indians to go deaf or become hearing impaired.